Stir Crazy

I'm insane. It's 12:30 in the pm, and I've been sitting around the apartment since I rolled out of bed at 8:15 in the am. Neil Young in blaring on the stereo, as I try to find an outlet for my pent-up energy.

I'll go for a run in a bit, as soon as I finish the cup of tea I just made (I'm off coffee), and finish ranting. I can't stand being stuck in this rut that I'm in, but I can't figure out how to get out of it either. Yesterday Mia and I took the bus to the town of Oregrund, an hour and a half north of Uppsala, on the coast of the Baltic Sea. It felt great to hear the sounds of the water again, and get back into the mood of the traveler, where movement is the cure to life's ills. Today I've fallen off that bus.

It is exceedingly frustrating not having something to occupy myself with here, and it's even more frustrating knowing that I'm not giving 100% to figure this out. I was in such good spirits last week when I learned there might be an opportunity to work at Sailmarine, but every minute that goes by that I don't receive a return phone call is another minute that I sink into despair, bored out of my mind. Writing comes so easily to me when I'm happy, yet lately it's been a struggle to get one sentence on paper in an effort to send stuff in for publication. 

I have this enormous feeling that I'm wasting my life away in this little apartment. I'm making an effort. I've been to Stockholm twice now looking for work in the boating industry. I biked across town leaving my new teaching resume at 7 different schools in Uppsala. I applied at the local Irish Pub to no avail. I can't stand the thought of compromising my ideals and taking just any old job, but I'm getting desperate for something just to occupy the time, and nothing seems to be working.

On the positive side, I've figured out a plan for the spring, summer and fall. Mia is quitting pharmacy school at the end of this semester to transfer to a school where she can study Tourism in Stockholm next fall. So she's decided to just quit now, after her current class ends in mid-March. She'll return with me to Annapolis April 7, stay for the spring until I head south, and head home to Sweden for the birth of her first niece. I'm heading to St. Martin June 3, to return August 23 after three months on a catamaran. Then I'll stay in Annapolis for the fall, enjoy the boat show and the fall weather, and head back to Sweden in November sometime, only to return again for Kate's graduation in December, and Christmas.